Sometime I feel growing up has brought with it so many complications, so many responsibilities, so many emotions. It was so easy when you were a child, you really dint care about anything. You had no responsibilities, no social preferences. Ironically we wanted to grow up really fast then.
Now I have such rigid social preferences, am so clueless how to handle the myriad emotions I'm afflicted with.
Why do we feel so alone in this very crowded world sometimes? And yet many time you just wan to be alone very well knowing that when you are alone you'd want company.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Inconsequential Friend
A friend of keeps raving about how amazing her best friend is and how not many people have a freindship as theirs. It is rather insenstive of her to do so. It makes me feel like what ever I do, compered to her "best friend" I will never measure up, whatever I do will never be even as good as her.
To her I'd say: Then why do you still be freinds with us, if you've got everone you need from her? Are we just for entertainment? I know I haven't been good. And even though so many years I've been trying so hard to recognised as a good freind by you, I thinks its time I stop, trying so hard. And though I really like your best friend in a long term sort of way, which I haven't told her, she reminds me of my "inferiority" to her.
To her I'd say: Then why do you still be freinds with us, if you've got everone you need from her? Are we just for entertainment? I know I haven't been good. And even though so many years I've been trying so hard to recognised as a good freind by you, I thinks its time I stop, trying so hard. And though I really like your best friend in a long term sort of way, which I haven't told her, she reminds me of my "inferiority" to her.
Taken For Granted
Why do we take our parents love for granted?
I had an exam recently and since I have been known for my laziness at getting started a, friend of mine said she'd totally "party" with me if I got a good score. Now my parents have always tried to give me such incentives and, I'm not ashamed at saying this as I should be, they haven't really worked. This time I really wanted to do well not 'cause the doing well matter to me but having fun with my friend really did.
Is it because with your parents, you eventually get what you want? Or do we just take their love for granted? Why do we make light of their expectations from us?
I had an exam recently and since I have been known for my laziness at getting started a, friend of mine said she'd totally "party" with me if I got a good score. Now my parents have always tried to give me such incentives and, I'm not ashamed at saying this as I should be, they haven't really worked. This time I really wanted to do well not 'cause the doing well matter to me but having fun with my friend really did.
Is it because with your parents, you eventually get what you want? Or do we just take their love for granted? Why do we make light of their expectations from us?
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Small Acts of Kindness
One day as I was zooming to office, I see this guy trudging along the road with a laptop and a shoulder sling bag. I stop and offer him a lift. On the way I discover he is an intern in the office located in the same building as me and stays right in my society.
Ok so we work out, that he’ll travel with me everyday. At first I said why not, it’ll help somebody out. After a few days I realize I liked traveling alone for those few minutes, it was my space that I dint really want to share. Since I had committed I used to take him and bring him back, albeit a little grudgingly.
Most time I dint want conversation, not because I dint like giving him a lift, just sometimes like to keep to myself and riding home after a hard satisfying day at work always is a part of that time, riding into the sunset with the wind in my hair. On the other my friend always wanted to talk, ask questions.
One day he was leaving for Delhi and had a bag, so he had called me up in the morning and said that he had a small “bag” and hoped we’d be able to manage it on my bike. So I told him not to worry we’d manage it. For my comfort more than his I decided to take the car.
The other he called and said that he’d returned last night and was leaving for home, Kerela, the next day and he was thankful for me him taking him to office. I say it’s not a big deal and I was doing anything out of the way for him and e dint need to thank me for it. Then he said was that I was one of the most helpful people who he had, had the fortune to come cross and ask why would that be. He said that I will always remember that you brought the car that day I had a bag and I haven’t come across or think of anyone who do that.
The only things that came to my mind were, I wasn’t very friendly with him, more often than not, and I certainly dint take car just to help him out. Having said that, the compliment did make my really hard and long day much better and it really was just what I needed that day.
There are two points that I’m trying to make here, especially to my friends, first is that you shouldn’t thank me so profusely for those “act of kindness and helpfulness” for you really aren’t aware of my motives which aren’t always pure. And secondly and most importantly, that one must always commit small acts of kindness, whenever we can, for they have effects we cannot foresee and they do really mean a lot to those we help!
Take care. Be well.
Ok so we work out, that he’ll travel with me everyday. At first I said why not, it’ll help somebody out. After a few days I realize I liked traveling alone for those few minutes, it was my space that I dint really want to share. Since I had committed I used to take him and bring him back, albeit a little grudgingly.
Most time I dint want conversation, not because I dint like giving him a lift, just sometimes like to keep to myself and riding home after a hard satisfying day at work always is a part of that time, riding into the sunset with the wind in my hair. On the other my friend always wanted to talk, ask questions.
One day he was leaving for Delhi and had a bag, so he had called me up in the morning and said that he had a small “bag” and hoped we’d be able to manage it on my bike. So I told him not to worry we’d manage it. For my comfort more than his I decided to take the car.
The other he called and said that he’d returned last night and was leaving for home, Kerela, the next day and he was thankful for me him taking him to office. I say it’s not a big deal and I was doing anything out of the way for him and e dint need to thank me for it. Then he said was that I was one of the most helpful people who he had, had the fortune to come cross and ask why would that be. He said that I will always remember that you brought the car that day I had a bag and I haven’t come across or think of anyone who do that.
The only things that came to my mind were, I wasn’t very friendly with him, more often than not, and I certainly dint take car just to help him out. Having said that, the compliment did make my really hard and long day much better and it really was just what I needed that day.
There are two points that I’m trying to make here, especially to my friends, first is that you shouldn’t thank me so profusely for those “act of kindness and helpfulness” for you really aren’t aware of my motives which aren’t always pure. And secondly and most importantly, that one must always commit small acts of kindness, whenever we can, for they have effects we cannot foresee and they do really mean a lot to those we help!
Take care. Be well.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Why machines are easier to deal with
- A machine doesn't take offense when its not in the mood and you make jokes.
- You don't get emotionally attached to a machine beyond a certain point.
- Unlike with human beings you don't have lopsided, dysfunctional relationships with machines.
- You never feel that you give/invest more than you receive from the machine.
- You don't feel that your best machine doesn't share with you anymore.
- A machine responds when you poll it.
- A never is never so busy to spend a minute with you.
- Machines don't have issues with other machines you know.
- Machines don't forget about you.
- Machines don't value you less than you value them.
- You don't get emotionally attached to a machine beyond a certain point.
- Unlike with human beings you don't have lopsided, dysfunctional relationships with machines.
- You never feel that you give/invest more than you receive from the machine.
- You don't feel that your best machine doesn't share with you anymore.
- A machine responds when you poll it.
- A never is never so busy to spend a minute with you.
- Machines don't have issues with other machines you know.
- Machines don't forget about you.
- Machines don't value you less than you value them.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
The missing string
There was once a necklace bead collector he had wanted to collect all the special bead and he used to collect every bead he thought he would be a part of that necklace. He also thought that he may, just may, have found the most important of the beads. He was happy with all the beads he had. His pearls he used to think of them. But he wasn't satisfied with just that, all the beads individually made him happy but dint mean or make something collectively. When he wasn't admiring one bead or another he wasn't very happy. For a long time he couldn't discover the reason for his unhappiness, until one day he understood that he is missing the string to bead them all together.
But he dint know where to find the string nor how it looked nor what it was made off. Nor even if he did find it how to string the beads into a necklace.
But he dint know where to find the string nor how it looked nor what it was made off. Nor even if he did find it how to string the beads into a necklace.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
After Work
So its been five months that I've been working and I've really got used to it now. I really enjoy what I do. The thing that I've come to realize from my experiences and my friends, is that most of us feel this void after work, we feel lost.
Once I'm back and I've had my dinner, I really don't know what to do or what I'd like to do. I begin to wonder why this is so? How come it is only now that I feel this blankness? As night draws near and it time for bed, feel this urge to do something fulfilling, satisfying in my life. The only thing that's changed is instead of college I go to work. Of course there is a huge difference in what happens in those hours outside the house, but once your back its pretty much the same, rite?
What did I do in those days after college? Not much, hardly anything in fact, but I never felt this void.
I guess this is where hobbies and interest come in hand. But every time I think of inculcating something, there is always something that hinders it, an upcoming exam, a responsibility in the office. But I've always believe only those who take time have time. So I shall order my life and fill the gaps. There is much to do and much to enjoy.
Have fun.
Once I'm back and I've had my dinner, I really don't know what to do or what I'd like to do. I begin to wonder why this is so? How come it is only now that I feel this blankness? As night draws near and it time for bed, feel this urge to do something fulfilling, satisfying in my life. The only thing that's changed is instead of college I go to work. Of course there is a huge difference in what happens in those hours outside the house, but once your back its pretty much the same, rite?
What did I do in those days after college? Not much, hardly anything in fact, but I never felt this void.
I guess this is where hobbies and interest come in hand. But every time I think of inculcating something, there is always something that hinders it, an upcoming exam, a responsibility in the office. But I've always believe only those who take time have time. So I shall order my life and fill the gaps. There is much to do and much to enjoy.
Have fun.
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